Wednesday, October 13, 2010

11.04.2010 - Skin Care

Skin Care –
6pm to 7pm

Cost: $5 entry fee.


Caring for your skin is key. Learn from the skin care experts of King and Queen Emporium Marketplace just how to do so, as you sample their array of 100% handmade and healthy skin products; ranging from body washes and creams to salts and shea butters blends. (The Shea Souffle and Hair butter products are DIVINE).

Products will be available for purchase, so your skin doesn’t have to go home lonely.

Learn more about the Queens of King & Queen Emporium Martket place here.


Leisure Reading

If you've stumbled upon this site for leisure reading or discussion material, look no futher. This 1998 article entitled "The Colorblind Heart / Interracial dating becoming more common" by Yumi Wilson is dated but extremely interesting especially in relation to its time period. What do you think?

_________________________________________________________________

The Colorblind Heart / Interracial dating becoming more common
by Yumi Wilson (1998)


Jodene Morrell, a San Francisco teacher of German and Japanese heritage, stopped dating white men after a bad experience with her high school sweetheart.

"He thought it would be interesting to date an Asian woman because of the quiet, submissive image portrayed on 'Shogun,' " said Morrell, who instructs fourth-graders at a public school in Chinatown. "I broke up with him because of that."

Morrell, 26, is now married to Ernest Morrell, an African American man. And she says she faces even more prejudice: from whites who believe she "married down," and from blacks who feel that she stole "another good black man."

"People have given us dirty stares and called us names," said Morrell. Once, in 1993, a middle-aged white woman walked up to the couple and said, "Keep to your own race."

The experiences of the Morrells and numerous other young people show that interracial dating can still be a minefield -- although interracial marriages nationally have more than quadrupled to 1.4 million since 1970.

Dozens of young people interviewed at Bay Area schools, colleges and shopping malls said they often encounter angry stares, racist comments, shock and disapproval from parents and peers when they date interracially -- especially

if the skin color of their partner is darker than theirs.

The fact that the younger generations -- unexposed to Jim Crow laws and other interracial bans of old -- are struggling with the issue, even in the Bay Area, indicates that skin color is at least as big a barrier as anything else when it comes to forming relationships.

Indeed, Morrell's mother -- who herself defied detractors by marrying outside her race -- initially urged her not to marry an African American.

"When I told my mom I was marrying Ernest, she broke into tears," Morrell said quietly. For the first time ever, she started talking about the difficulties of dating outside her race. "She kept asking, 'What about your kids?' But then I asked her, 'What about me?' "

Morrell's husband acknowledged that his mother told him at 18 that she was sad about so many "professional black men marrying non-blacks." But his family now loves her very much.

Most experts and interracial couples would agree that there is a lot less open hostility in the Bay Area, a place known for its diversity and progressive attitudes. But nevertheless, Morrell says, things are far from perfect here.

"I think my perception was, 'Wow,' there's a lot more interracial dating than in San Diego where we lived before," she said.

"But it's not as popular as people think. In fact, I think it's extremely difficult . . . and it will be a long time -- if ever -- before race is no longer an issue." At the fifth annual Hapa Issues Forum this spring, hundreds of multiracial students gathered at the University of California at Berkeley to debate "the changing perceptions of mixed-race America."

During an afternoon workshop on dating, a 52-year-old Japanese American woman told a circle of young people that she didn't think that things were all that different from the 1950s -- despite great advances in the civil rights movement.

"I did feel that there would be more open-mindedness," said the Berkeley woman, who asked that her name not be used. "To some extent, yes. But in other respects, I feel there is an invisible line between racial groups."

Indeed, a recent lunch hour at the racially diverse Galileo High School in San Francisco seemed divided along invisible racial lines.

Ariana, a light-skinned Nicaraguan, said that because there are so few Nicaraguans at Galileo, she sometimes sits with her friend, Randy Merritt, in an area of the courtyard seemingly reserved for African Americans.

Randy, who is black, and Ariana get along well with each other. But both agreed that if they dated they would get flak from other students of all races.

In addition, Ariana admitted that her mother would be very upset if she brought home someone black like Randy.

"I couldn't bring home a black boy," the 11th-grader said. "Anybody else . . . white, Latino . . . that's OK."

Randy said his parents would be much less of a problem if he dated outside his race. But he worried more about not being accepted by his peers at school.

"If I went over to the Asian side over there, they probably wouldn't accept me," Randy sighed.

Ariana feels this is the bottom line:

"If two (people of different races) are friends, they (peers) wouldn't trip. But if you take it to the next level . . . then people start talking. When I was dating a black guy, nobody said anything to my face. But I ended up hearing that other people thought I was trying to be black."

Andrew Barlow, who's been teaching the history of race to UC Berkeley students for more than a decade, believes that some of the resistance to multiracial dating stems from the desire to have "ethnic solidarity."

Charles Byrd, publisher and editor of the online magazine "Interracial Voice," believes such racial division makes little sense when so many people are mixed.

"It's silly, of course, because the (American culture) is essentially a mulatto one," said Byrd, who is white, black and Cherokee.

"Yet you find many trying their damnedest to maintain mutually exclusive racial and cultural designations." The history of slavery and segregation can affect -- and in some cases dictate -- attitudes on interracial dating, particularly for blacks and whites.

As late as 1967, some states had anti-miscegenation laws preventing interracial marriages. That year, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled such laws unconstitutional.

Since then, the number of racially mixed marriages has gone up dramatically among Latinos, Asians and whites -- numbering more than 2 percent of the U.S. population, according to "Interracial" magazine. Even so, black- white unions remain much less common.

"It seems like interracial relationships between Latinos and whites are OK, but not with blacks and whites," said 16-year-old Jessica Navarro, a 10th-grader at Oakland Technical High School, which is predominantly black. "One girl got called an Oreo for dating a white guy."

Bateen Browning said he could never date a white woman because his mother would "disown me," but the 20-year-old, black rap artist said he could date a woman of Asian descent.

"I could date a Filipina because my grandmother is Filipina," Browning said as he strolled through Richmond's Hilltop shopping mall with a friend.

The reason that blacks and whites remain the most controversial of the mixed matches is that America's history of slavery, segregation and bans on interracial marriages has made it difficult for many to forgive and forget, said San Rafael marriage counselor Joel Crohn.

"The trajectory of the browning of America is different for blacks," said Crohn, author of "Mixed Marriages." "They were forced over here by slavery, most stigmatized by society. It's really black-and-white relationships that are most difficult and most complicated." However, pressure from families, peers and society are not the only reasons things fall apart. Sometimes the couples simply can't handle the strains that interracial relationships must endure.

Yaa Asantewa "Taunya" Vonfeldt, an African American who grew up in the predominantly white town of Santa Rosa, broke through the black-white barrier six years ago when she fell in love with a white man and had a child with him.

At the time, Vonfeldt, 25 and a junior at San Francisco State University, thought love could conquer all. But after their son arrived, race began to divide the couple.

"My ex-boyfriend never really had to deal with (racial) discrimination until we had our son," Vonfeldt said. "He couldn't believe that people would say bad things."

Things got worse, she said, when her blue-eyed, curly haired son, Avery, started identifying himself only as African American.

"I tried to explain to my ex it's because he was never around," she said.

The two have since broken up.

That experience is among the reasons Vonfeldt has become somewhat politically militant in her view that blacks should not date outside their own people.

"I have too much respect for African men now," she said. "Before, race was never an issue. Now I see the deterioration of the African community. For our community to be strong and proud, we need to stick together." Interracial couples often find that their own families can present some of the biggest obstacles to their relationships.

Chuck Warren, a soft-spoken African American student at San Francisco State University, has been dating Mary, who is Korean American, for nearly two years.

Although Chuck's family in the working-class town of Vallejo has no qualms about the relationship, Mary said it is hard for her parents to see beyond the media-fueled stereotypes of blacks as drug dealers, thieves or gang members.

"I'm pretty open about it," said the 22-year-old Mary. "But I have a lot of problems with my parents. They don't really deal with it well."

Chuck and Mary are not alone.

Santa Rosa Junior College student Larry Newsom said it was never tough to accept the family and friends of his former white girlfriends. But when they met his black family, that's when "a lot of things knock heads."

"When you bring someone outside your race to a family barbecue, it can be . . . tough," said Newsom, a 26-year-old psychology student who is now married to a black woman.

"Some of my (white) dates would feel so out of place, they . . . couldn't relate. That was a sign. If they couldn't feel comfortable with my family, I didn't think the relationship could go on." Despite all the pitfalls, dating across racial lines seems to be flourishing, even if not gaining wide-scale acceptance.

In Fairfield, a working-class and racially diverse town near Travis Air Force Base, Lindy Ford said she only knows "one person who doesn't date black people."

Ford, who is a 19-year-old white and Latina woman, is raising a son whose father is black. Although she admits her parents are not that supportive, she said her friends think it's no big deal because many are also dating interracially.

Interracial dating also seems to be gaining acceptance and popularity on the Internet, where there are literally dozens of Web sites dedicated to interracial dating, marriages and families.

In Los Angeles, Kymberly Jean is running a successful dating service called, Opposites Attract.

And in San Francisco, Gary of Men of All Colors Together said that membership is declining because the issue of interracial dating in the gay community is not as politically charged as it was 20 years ago.


"I think those difficulties are less of an issue because younger people have grown up with much more of a multicultural experience through Internet, television, education and other forms of the media," said Gary, who goes by his first name only.

Mary agreed.

"I feel that there are so many interracial couples now that I don't even think that race would be an issue," Mary said as she clutched Chuck's arm while the two strolled through Stonestown shopping mall.

"We're all the same," declared Chuck, "under the skin."

KRON REPORT TONIGHT
Tonight on its 6 p.m. newscast, KRON-TV (Channel 4) will air a detailed report on interracial marriages as part of a continuing joint effort with The Chronicle to examine Bay Area issues about race.

ABOUT RACE
This is one of a series of articles in "About Race," a yearlong public journalism project in which The Chronicle, KRON-TV. BayTV and KQED-FM are examining various aspects of race relations in the Bay Area.

Food for Thought

If you've stumbled upon this site for reading materials and for commentary/discussion, look no further. This post highlights Peggy McIntosh's famous introspective and analytical piece "White Privilege: Unpacking The Invisible Knapsack". Read, comment, discuss online...and in real life.

__________________________________________________________

White Privilege: Unpacking The Invisble Knapsack

"I was taught to see racism only in individual acts of meanness, not in invisible systems conferring dominance on my group"

Peggy McIntosh

Through work to bring materials from women's studies into the rest of the curriculum, I have often noticed men's unwillingness to grant that they are overprivileged, even though they may grant that women are disadvantaged. They may say they will work to women's statues, in the society, the university, or the curriculum, but they can't or won't support the idea of lessening men's. Denials that amount to taboos surround the subject of advantages that men gain from women's disadvantages. These denials protect male privilege from being fully acknowledged, lessened, or ended.

Thinking through unacknowledged male privilege as a phenomenon, I realized that, since hierarchies in our society are interlocking, there was most likely a phenomenon of while privilege that was similarly denied and protected. As a white person, I realized I had been taught about racism as something that puts others at a disadvantage, but had been taught not to see one of its corollary aspects, white privilege, which puts me at an advantage.

I think whites are carefully taught not to recognize white privilege, as males are taught not to recognize male privilege. So I have begun in an untutored way to ask what it is like to have white privilege. I have come to see white privilege as an invisible package of unearned assets that I can count on cashing in each day, but about which I was "meant" to remain oblivious. White privilege is like an invisible weightless knapsack of special provisions, maps, passports, codebooks, visas, clothes, tools , and blank checks.

Describing white privilege makes one newly accountable. As we in women's studies work to reveal male privilege and ask men to give up some of their power, so one who writes about having white privilege must ask, "having described it, what will I do to lessen or end it?"

After I realized the extent to which men work from a base of unacknowledged privilege, I understood that much of their oppressiveness was unconscious. Then I remembered the frequent charges from women of color that white women whom they encounter are oppressive. I began to understand why we are just seen as oppressive, even when we don't see ourselves that way. I began to count the ways in which I enjoy unearned skin privilege and have been conditioned into oblivion about its existence.

My schooling gave me no training in seeing myself as an oppressor, as an unfairly advantaged person, or as a participant in a damaged culture. I was taught to see myself as an individual whose moral state depended on her individual moral will. My schooling followed the pattern my colleague Elizabeth Minnich has pointed out: whites are taught to think of their lives as morally neutral, normative, and average, and also ideal, so that when we work to benefit others, this is seen as work that will allow "them" to be more like "us."

Return to the top of the page

Daily effects of white privilege

I decided to try to work on myself at least by identifying some of the daily effects of white privilege in my life. I have chosen those conditions that I think in my case attach somewhat more to skin-color privilege than to class, religion, ethnic status, or geographic location, though of course all these other factors are intricately intertwined. As far as I can tell, my African American coworkers, friends, and acquaintances with whom I come into daily or frequent contact in this particular time, place and time of work cannot count on most of these conditions.

1. I can if I wish arrange to be in the company of people of my race most of the time.

2. I can avoid spending time with people whom I was trained to mistrust and who have learned to mistrust my kind or me.

3. If I should need to move, I can be pretty sure of renting or purchasing housing in an area which I can afford and in which I would want to live.

4. I can be pretty sure that my neighbors in such a location will be neutral or pleasant to me.

5. I can go shopping alone most of the time, pretty well assured that I will not be followed or harassed.

6. I can turn on the television or open to the front page of the paper and see people of my race widely represented.

7. When I am told about our national heritage or about "civilization," I am shown that people of my color made it what it is.

8. I can be sure that my children will be given curricular materials that testify to the existence of their race.

9. If I want to, I can be pretty sure of finding a publisher for this piece on white privilege.

10. I can be pretty sure of having my voice heard in a group in which I am the only member of my race.

11. I can be casual about whether or not to listen to another person's voice in a group in which s/he is the only member of his/her race.

12. I can go into a music shop and count on finding the music of my race represented, into a supermarket and find the staple foods which fit with my cultural traditions, into a hairdresser's shop and find someone who can cut my hair.

13. Whether I use checks, credit cards or cash, I can count on my skin color not to work against the appearance of financial reliability.

14. I can arrange to protect my children most of the time from people who might not like them.

15. I do not have to educate my children to be aware of systemic racism for their own daily physical protection.

16. I can be pretty sure that my children's teachers and employers will tolerate them if they fit school and workplace norms; my chief worries about them do not concern others' attitudes toward their race.

17. I can talk with my mouth full and not have people put this down to my color.

18. I can swear, or dress in second hand clothes, or not answer letters, without having people attribute these choices to the bad morals, the poverty or the illiteracy of my race.

19. I can speak in public to a powerful male group without putting my race on trial.

20. I can do well in a challenging situation without being called a credit to my race.

21. I am never asked to speak for all the people of my racial group.

22. I can remain oblivious of the language and customs of persons of color who constitute the world's majority without feeling in my culture any penalty for such oblivion.

23. I can criticize our government and talk about how much I fear its policies and behavior without being seen as a cultural outsider.

24. I can be pretty sure that if I ask to talk to the "person in charge", I will be facing a person of my race.

25. If a traffic cop pulls me over or if the IRS audits my tax return, I can be sure I haven't been singled out because of my race.

26. I can easily buy posters, post-cards, picture books, greeting cards, dolls, toys and children's magazines featuring people of my race.

27. I can go home from most meetings of organizations I belong to feeling somewhat tied in, rather than isolated, out-of-place, outnumbered, unheard, held at a distance or feared.

28. I can be pretty sure that an argument with a colleague of another race is more likely to jeopardize her/his chances for advancement than to jeopardize mine.

29. I can be pretty sure that if I argue for the promotion of a person of another race, or a program centering on race, this is not likely to cost me heavily within my present setting, even if my colleagues disagree with me.

30. If I declare there is a racial issue at hand, or there isn't a racial issue at hand, my race will lend me more credibility for either position than a person of color will have.

31. I can choose to ignore developments in minority writing and minority activist programs, or disparage them, or learn from them, but in any case, I can find ways to be more or less protected from negative consequences of any of these choices.

32. My culture gives me little fear about ignoring the perspectives and powers of people of other races.

33. I am not made acutely aware that my shape, bearing or body odor will be taken as a reflection on my race.

34. I can worry about racism without being seen as self-interested or self-seeking.

35. I can take a job with an affirmative action employer without having my co-workers on the job suspect that I got it because of my race.

36. If my day, week or year is going badly, I need not ask of each negative episode or situation whether it had racial overtones.

37. I can be pretty sure of finding people who would be willing to talk with me and advise me about my next steps, professionally.

38. I can think over many options, social, political, imaginative or professional, without asking whether a person of my race would be accepted or allowed to do what I want to do.

39. I can be late to a meeting without having the lateness reflect on my race.

40. I can choose public accommodation without fearing that people of my race cannot get in or will be mistreated in the places I have chosen.

41. I can be sure that if I need legal or medical help, my race will not work against me.

42. I can arrange my activities so that I will never have to experience feelings of rejection owing to my race.

43. If I have low credibility as a leader I can be sure that my race is not the problem.

44. I can easily find academic courses and institutions which give attention only to people of my race.

45. I can expect figurative language and imagery in all of the arts to testify to experiences of my race.

46. I can chose blemish cover or bandages in "flesh" color and have them more or less match my skin.

47. I can travel alone or with my spouse without expecting embarrassment or hostility in those who deal with us.

48. I have no difficulty finding neighborhoods where people approve of our household.

49. My children are given texts and classes which implicitly support our kind of family unit and do not turn them against my choice of domestic partnership.

50. I will feel welcomed and "normal" in the usual walks of public life, institutional and social.
Return to the top of the page

Elusive and fugitive

I repeatedly forgot each of the realizations on this list until I wrote it down. For me white privilege has turned out to be an elusive and fugitive subject. The pressure to avoid it is great, for in facing it I must give up the myth of meritocracy. If these things are true, this is not such a free country; one's life is not what one makes it; many doors open for certain people through no virtues of their own.

In unpacking this invisible knapsack of white privilege, I have listed conditions of daily experience that I once took for granted. Nor did I think of any of these perquisites as bad for the holder. I now think that we need a more finely differentiated taxonomy of privilege, for some of these varieties are only what one would want for everyone in a just society, and others give license to be ignorant, oblivious, arrogant, and destructive.

I see a pattern running through the matrix of white privilege, a patter of assumptions that were passed on to me as a white person. There was one main piece of cultural turf; it was my own turn, and I was among those who could control the turf. My skin color was an asset for any move I was educated to want to make. I could think of myself as belonging in major ways and of making social systems work for me. I could freely disparage, fear, neglect, or be oblivious to anything outside of the dominant cultural forms. Being of the main culture, I could also criticize it fairly freely.

In proportion as my racial group was being made confident, comfortable, and oblivious, other groups were likely being made unconfident, uncomfortable, and alienated. Whiteness protected me from many kinds of hostility, distress, and violence, which I was being subtly trained to visit, in turn, upon people of color.

For this reason, the word "privilege" now seems to me misleading. We usually think of privilege as being a favored state, whether earned or conferred by birth or luck. Yet some of the conditions I have described here work systematically to over empower certain groups. Such privilege simply confers dominance because of one's race or sex.

Return to the top of the page

Earned strength, unearned power

I want, then, to distinguish between earned strength and unearned power conferred privilege can look like strength when it is in fact permission to escape or to dominate. But not all of the privileges on my list are inevitably damaging. Some, like the expectation that neighbors will be decent to you, or that your race will not count against you in court, should be the norm in a just society. Others, like the privilege to ignore less powerful people, distort the humanity of the holders as well as the ignored groups.

We might at least start by distinguishing between positive advantages, which we can work to spread, and negative types of advantage, which unless rejected will always reinforce our present hierarchies. For example, the feeling that one belongs within the human circle, as Native Americans say, should not be seen as privilege for a few. Ideally it is an unearned entitlement. At present, since only a few have it, it is an unearned advantage for them. This paper results from a process of coming to see that some of the power that I originally say as attendant on being a human being in the United States consisted in unearned advantage and conferred dominance.

I have met very few men who truly distressed about systemic, unearned male advantage and conferred dominance. And so one question for me and others like me is whether we will be like them, or whether we will get truly distressed, even outraged, about unearned race advantage and conferred dominance, and, if so, what we will do to lessen them. In any case, we need to do more work in identifying how they actually affect our daily lives. Many, perhaps most, of our white students in the United States think that racism doesn't affect them because they are not people of color; they do not see "whiteness" as a racial identity. In addition, since race and sex are not the only advantaging systems at work, we need similarly to examine the daily experience of having age advantage, or ethnic advantage, or physical ability, or advantage related to nationality, religion, or sexual orientation.

Difficulties and angers surrounding the task of finding parallels are many. Since racism, sexism, and heterosexism are not the same, the advantages associated with them should not be seen as the same. In addition, it is hard to disentangle aspects of unearned advantage that rest more on social class, economic class, race, religion, sex, and ethnic identity that on other factors. Still, all of the oppressions are interlocking, as the members of the Combahee River Collective pointed out in their "Black Feminist Statement" of 1977.

One factor seems clear about all of the interlocking oppressions. They take both active forms, which we can see, and embedded forms, which as a member of the dominant groups one is taught not to see. In my class and place, I did not see myself as a racist because I was taught to recognize racism only in individual acts of meanness by members of my group, never in invisible systems conferring unsought racial dominance on my group from birth.

Disapproving of the system won't be enough to change them. I was taught to think that racism could end if white individuals changed their attitude. But a "white" skin in the United States opens many doors for whites whether or not we approve of the way dominance has been conferred on us. Individual acts can palliate but cannot end, these problems.

To redesign social systems we need first to acknowledge their colossal unseen dimensions. The silences and denials surrounding privilege are the key political surrounding privilege are the key political tool here. They keep the thinking about equality or equity incomplete, protecting unearned advantage and conferred dominance by making these subject taboo. Most talk by whites about equal opportunity seems to me now to be about equal opportunity to try to get into a position of dominance while denying that systems of dominance exist.

It seems to me that obliviousness about white advantage, like obliviousness about male advantage, is kept strongly inculturated in the United States so as to maintain the myth of meritocracy, the myth that democratic choice is equally available to all. Keeping most people unaware that freedom of confident action is there for just a small number of people props up those in power and serves to keep power in the hands of the same groups that have most of it already.

Although systemic change takes many decades, there are pressing questions for me and, I imagine, for some others like me if we raise our daily consciousness on the perquisites of being light-skinned. What will we do with such knowledge? As we know from watching men, it is an open question whether we will choose to use unearned advantage, and whether we will use any of our arbitrarily awarded power to try to reconstruct power systems on a broader base.

Peggy McIntosh is associate director of the Wellesley Collage Center for Research on Women. This essay is excerpted from Working Paper 189. "White Privilege and Male Privilege: A Personal Account of Coming To See Correspondences through Work in Women's Studies" (1988), by Peggy McIntosh; available for $10.00 from the Wellesley College Center for Research on Women, Wellesley MA 02181 The working paper contains a longer list of privileges.

This excerpted essay is reprinted from the Winter 1990 issue of Independent School.

11.11.2010 - Skin Cinema

November 11th:
6pm to 7:30pm

Skin Cinema –

Screening “Silence – In Search of Black Female Sexuality in America.” Why have Black women been ‘mute’ about their sexuality/ What has prevented them from expressing their feelings about this important subject within their own families and with eachother? This provocative documentary by filmmaker Mya B. explores the reasons for sexual silence in the Black community, simultaneously destroying misconceptions about Black women yet revealing the truth about their sexuality.


Cost: $8 , $6 for Members , $6 if you bring an item from our wishlist!*

11.18.2010 Skin Convo

Skin Convo -
6pm to 7pm

November 18th:
Skin Convo-
Join us in a comprehensive workshop breaking down the dynamics of skin privilege, as well as disecting the role of skin today in social media, education and within the workplace.